5 reasons not to play Zombie Vikings

It seems weird, I know. Reasons not to play Zombie Vikings? Really? Do they even exist? The answer is… yes! And here they are. Read them and weep.

1. Your regular life will suddenly seem very dull



There just aren’t enough octopuses living in stomachs, witches bathing in cauldrons or giant plague monsters out there anymore. Who are you gonna befriend? Like.. regular people? Lame.

2. You’ll realize no energy drink has the power of Berzerker


Listen to Thor!

“What? Does this not give me a psychotic episode? Will it not help me get the power to take someones land? What is this, some kid’s soda? I want my money back!”

3. You’ll never get over the fact that unicorn pigs don’t exist



Oink is just too damn cute not to be real. And what other pet actually does you a favor when they throw up? Or carry your canon for you?

4. You won’t be able to play games with no cat-on-a-stick weapon


Come here kitty-kitty!

It’s just no fun! You need your scratch. And a weapons is a better companion when it’s alive. ‘Cause, you know, sometimes you just get tired of your fellow Vikings.

5. People won’t understand why you think spiky breastplates should be the next big thing in fashion



Come on, it looks great on everyone. From scrawny little Loki to the magnificent Gunborg. Why can’t you buy those things anywhere? I’m looking at you, big worldwide store chains!